Good Saturday

Thanks to Melda

"Our Easter Girl"

Today is the 8th anniversary of Mom's passing: April 11, 2012. Rest in Peace, Mom; we miss you every day!

When Mom was "transitioning", it was during Holy Week of that year. As we were in that "time of waiting in the Lord"... the days spent by her bedside at the Cloisters, were filled with many spiritual moments. We began to call Mom our "Easter Girl"; soon joining Our Risen Lord in Heaven, along with all the relatives who were waiting for her! Mom did not actually die on Easter of that year, but 3 days later. 

When we talked about dedicating this day's post to Mom, Melda said that she had this darling photo of Mom with an Easter basket on her head.... Perfect!

Our stories begin with Melda's of that picture.

Melda Arick

---

It was 1988 and Momu was at our house on Easter. Tom became a Catholic at the Easter Vigil Mass the night before. Easter Sunday we always have an Easter Egg Hunt. Momu was being silly for her grandkids!!

Michelle Murphy (Eldest Daughter)

---

One of the best stores I have to pass along... Mom and I traveled a lot together with my job and one of the most exciting trips was in Mexico. We ran into a caretaker, tall good looking hunk about 50. When we joined him for a drink later an older gentleman about mom‘s age asked to join us. Turns out the hunk was after mom… I got stuck with the old gentleman and we headed out for the evening. I had to wait up for mom to get back to the hotel!!!!! :-)

My ‘mom’ was my parent for 20 years, then my rock and then my pal!!!💗💗💗

Cynthia Marie (First Grandchild)

---

Well I forever spelled her name as Mamu. Ma and Mu 😘 Too Many memories to print but she was a woman always with her toes in the sand and her fingers in her crafts. Loving and the most amazing smile and always in a bathing suit. She was our star 💗🌹💗🌹💗🌹

Cheryl Perez / CherBear

---

Well I just cannot FORGET my first REAL connection with Momu! I had written a lot of “strawberry scented” stationary letters to her and cannot forget my COOL wax stamps. I have many memories of Momu involving cards and crosswords but this one sticks!! I’m a teen (maybe) and hanging out at 5153 Mission Blvd (THAT I LOVED) and  I there for the summer and Momu hands me a Nectarine... What is this I think? What is she gonna make me eat (I’m only here for a little while right?) and she tells me to slice it up and it is HEAVEN! I’m like OK - thinking to myself  “What’s HEAVEN”?!? We looked at each other each taking a bite and  to this day I have LOVED every slice, bite and  morsel of that PERFECT fruit and my first REAL connection with Momu - I love you more!
Love,
Cher

Shawn Kisker Patterson (Auntie Marie's youngest niece)

---

I have many great times spent with your Mom when I was a kid. Hunting seashells on Mission Beach. Really special times. 

But, my favorite memory was your Mom sneaking me off to get my ears pierced, while on an extended visit with her. 

This said activity had been strictly forbidden!! Anyone with good sence just knew better. Including Susan, who knew she would surely die, or go to hell, for this assault against my Mom's delicate sensibilities. 

I "think" I remember warning your Mom that this was grounds for war. Lol. (I could be fuzzy on these details.  😘) 

So, the dredded day arrived, when my parents were to pick me up. 

My mom barley glanced at me and hit the ceiling!! 

Your mom, of course was complete grace under pressure. Looking at my Mom like she was a bit nutts, and kinda old fashioned. As well as completely unhinged. 

Auntie Marie gave the eye roll to me. All was good between our respective Mothers. 

Needless to say, I caught 3 hrs of hell all the way back to Anaheim. 

As my cousins will attest to, anytime I put on so much as eyeliner, "the call" went out to Reenie and Nance for a makeup intervention. No joke. 

So, that's my most fun memory of your Mom. We really had alot of fun when I had to be "elsewhere". She was a very special part of my growing up. 

Never remembering Grandma Aggie, Auntie Reenie, Auntie Imelda and your Mom were the best substitute Grandmas a girl could have!!! Thanks for sharing her with me. 

She was very cherished by this niece.💗

Chris

---

Mom was a pioneer in the early 1950’s when the outbreak of polio was the pandemic of the time. Our current self-isolation has put me in mind of how Mom had to handle the restrictions with active children who were used to playing outside. I remember that we were not allowed to go swimming in the pool at the club our family belonged to (can’t remember the name - any help family?). We couldn’t go places where there were lots of children, even to the movies. Every afternoon, in the heat of the day, we had to “rest”. We could play games or read, but couldn’t go outside until late afternoon.

Since today is Good Friday, I always think of how Mom said we had to keep quiet between the hours of 12 and 3. It’s not like we had to pray, we could even play Monopoly! I’m sure these were times Mom embraced to enjoy some quiet time for herself.

So as we are dealing with our current pandemic, let’s remember how Mom kept us safe, as we attempt to keep our loved ones equally safe.

Also, John has always said he had the BEST Mother-in-law ever. Mom always gave Grandma Aggie credit for being such a great role model!!

Tim Renden 4/10 11:40am (406)

---

SO MANY ... I will try and communicate my favorite ones of my grandmother, Marie Murphy ...

Early in my childhood, the excitement and thrill of knowing Momu would be picking me up from elementary school on certain days. Each time she would pick me up, she’d express her presence to the elementary school staff “... don’t you know who I am?! I am Timothy’s grandmother.” Her aura, and her body language proudly said it all. Basking in her presence those bright afternoons after school, driving me home in her dream car with the top down. We would stop for ice cream, and then drive to our local park ‘treehouse.’ She’d let me explore for hours never taking her eyes off of me.  As soon as we got home, she‘d sit me down to finish my schoolwork, immediately, as if she knew the importance of education in my life to come...

How could I forget our August beach days in La Jolla, her birthday celebrations routinely wrapping up an official ending to our amazing Summer seasons. Momu would plant herself in her beach chair, where we always knew to find her and check-in with her. She was always so curious to know how our beach day was unraveling, I would help refresh her giant plastic soda cup.

Had a dream about Momu the night of her passing. We were at Godmother and Godfather’s (Aunt Chris & Uncle John’s) house, could have been a Murphy Christmas.... This dream felt SO REAL... cousins running around the house, small groups and huddles of kindred family members, relatives, mingling all throughout each and every space of Chris and John’s home. Then, so I remember so distinctly in my dream, Momu was sitting by herself, quietly observing her beautiful family, a fixed smile on her face, looking so proud of her job as the matriarch of the family. She was alone, sitting comfy in Chris and John’s living room. Her eyes fixed on me. I felt compelled it was my turn to check in with her. So I sat down next to her and held her hand. I asked her if she was ‘okay,’ she replied with a bright, glowing smile on her face, “I’m okay.” That’s when I woke up with the chills and knew she was in Heaven with her Father, and loved ones. Her chimes continue to ring on, every so often, checking in with the Renden family. 

Sean

---

I have a favorite story, but everybody has heard it – Reenie tells it all the time. What I have fond memories of are:
I met her first when Reenie invited me to dinner at the La Mesa house & Jim had recently passed away. I never met him. She was wearing a nice dress, and looked quite matronly; polite & cordial, and we warmed up – she completely transformed into the PB beach person we all loved – she was in her element: sea shell collection, tan, Warwicks, the steak dinners & salads (Ahhh), Doc & Dom, the salty Afro, watching Mash on TV. The “Back-Off-Burt” story, seemed to be embellished, not by her, but everyone else.
She never uttered a word regarding our parenting, and never heard her gossip – think about that, she was the dream Mother-in-Law. She enjoyed good jokes and commentary. Coffee was always on. The silver stork ashtray, the Padre games, the round wooden table & chairs & deck of cards.
She was hard of hearing, which gave me the time to rephrase what I had just said –maybe she heard it right the first time, allowing me some regained dignity & propriety the second time around.
I loved her laugh, and saying, “Well, that’s Something”, or just her funny nods.
All my friends would ask, “Well, how’s Marie?”.
It was a familiar question, but seems funny now.
Yes, we need her, miss her, and always will.
Sean

Mom and Marty

---

My mom, whom I referred to as Marie for the first few years after I learned to speak, finally persuaded my sister, Michelle, and me to call her “Mother.” Marie was her name, and that was what everyone else called her. Her mate was Jim. Mom was stubborn about the name change. She just stopped responding to us until we called her by her new, preferred name. That stubborn, loving trait never left Marie.

My sister and I eventually called them by their preferred names.

Mom and the rest of the family spent most of the first 22 years of my life in several different houses in California, Washington, Oregon and back to California. After Dad passed, she moved from La Mesa to a house in Mission Village. She told me that she had always wanted to live near the beach. I was able to find her a place near the beach that she could afford to buy. She live there for several years.

Her next house was right next door to my wife, Monita, and me. She stayed there for eighteen years, eighteen wonderful years for me. We got to know each other, like one another and love in a special way, a love deepened by hers and my advancing ages and our common needs. I got to take her for adventures at local casinos, where she loved to feed the slots and I got to leave her alone and roam around for a couple of hours.
We always shared stories about the adventures of our lives. Looking back on those years, I am deeply grateful to God for putting me into Marie’s life and Mom into mine.

When Mom moved to a senior home about eight miles away, I still visited her several times a week. Each time I arrived, she would say, “What are you doing here?” I really think she asked that question ever since I arrived in her life. I think she always meant it. It brings great joy to me that she never rejected me and always loved me in her own special way.

Never did call her Marie again.

Monita

---

My Memories of Marie

My most vivid memories are the early ones.  A few months after Marty and I got engaged, he left for Pre-flight Officers’ Training in Pensacola. Since his family lived less than half a mile away from where I lived with my parents, I would drive over to their house a couple of times a week to share the latest news I’d received in his letters.  I remember sitting with her at their dinner table; that seemed to be where she spent what little “down” time she had. We would chat and I remember watching her work on her daily crossword puzzles. She was responsible for one of my life-long hobbies.

I also remember visiting her downstairs while she was ironing on her mangle.  It was so fascinating to someone who had only been exposed to an iron and ironing board.  She was a mangle master.

I was amazed by her organization.  As I recall, she prepared pretty much the same meal for each day of the week.  Cooking was never her passion.  She managed a house, a spouse and five kids (Michelle was already out of the house) and still have time to read (that was one of her passions).

I remember her often expressing her love of babies.  By her own admission, when they reached the toddler stage, they seemed to lose their allure.  I think it was the cuddling she loved and once they stopped needing that, she didn’t need them.  I exaggerate, she was a wonderful, mother, grandmother and most importantly to me, the perfect mother-in law.

Luke Murphy

---

As a child, I always was surprised at seeing how many pills Momu could swallow at one time! Also remember that I really liked a purple crystal/rock owl that she gave to me when I was really into collecting rocks. 

Love Luke 

Steve Hauser

---

The most visual memories I have of your mother was the easiness I felt when I visited you at home so many years ago while I was stationed in San Diego. Your mother made me feel like family. I just felt very natural being there with the “younger” clan running around. I once brought a Navy friend, Phil, with me … and he too was made at home. One time Michelle and Phil met in Seattle for lunch one day to catch up and now exchange emails from time to time. Phil and I have remained the best of friends, since high school, all these many years. Your mother help make those visits enjoyable. 

I remember that Babs and I were invited to your Mother & Father’s 50th anniversary held in a very nice restaurant in Orange County. Babs and I may not have been married at the time … can’t recall. I do remember standing and giving a toast to your parents hoping that Babs and I would have as happy and successful marriage as they had. 

I believe that last time I saw your mother was at her, I think, 80th birthday party on the beach somewhere in San Diego. A well-attended event by those who loved her. I was very pleased that I was yet again included. I have always felt a part of the Murphy family. I have always appreciated that inclusion.

Marcia Murphy

---

I would like to contribute the following thought: 

I always thought we had the coolest, hippest grandmother, because she lived at the beach, was always tan and she was pretty chill. I loved that she went to the beach to lay out and pick up shells to do art projects. She had quite an extensive collection, even after she stopped doing projects. We grew up in Alpine, very far from the ocean. When all my girlfriends and I wanted to go to the beach, before we drove the 45 minutes, I would call Granny for the weather forecast, this was obviously before the internet. She was like our own personal weather woman. 

When I started working and living on my own in the early 80s, I had problems balancing my checkbook. I was talking to Granny about this. One day she showed up at my work (Video Library) and gave me a check for $50, which was a lot to me in the early 80s and told me to never go down past that amount. I never bounced a check after that. 

The last memory I would share is, I always wanted a second piercing in my ear and wanted a diamond stud. Granny heard about my wish and she had an earring made out of one of Grandpa’s cufflinks. I always cherished that earring and the two people it symbolized; Granny and Grandpa. 

We did have a really awesome and cool grandmother. I think of her all the time. Like Granny, I love the beach and living near it and fortunately for me I am able to do it as well. Maybe I will be a cool grandmother one day. 

I love you Granny!

Jan

---

I always marvel at how much Marie loved the fact that we had twins and that she had always wanted twins – I marveled because I couldn’t imagine wanting twins and I marveled because of her complete delight in two babies at once!  So when the twins were first born, my mother and Marie alternated visiting every other week, for a bit of time. My mother was like the energizer bunny, cleaning, cooking, baking, gardening – trying to do all that kind of work so I didn’t have to. Marie, on the other hand, taught me the joy of simply sitting at the kitchen table over tea and talking away the afternoon, waiting for the babies to wake up – they were big sleepers!  She was completely happy with taking care of those babies, or, second-best, just chatting with me. It reminds me of that sign in her kitchen -  ‘A clean kitchen is s sign of a misspent life”!

Dan

---

I get the warm and fuzzies when I think about Mom’s peanut butter, honey and butter sandwiches. Having raised her father and four brothers since she was twelve, she knew how to make a good sandwich! Spread to the edge! Mom kick me out of the house in the morning – go outside and play! – and was perfectly happy if she never saw me the rest of the day – as long as I was within earshot of her distinctive and melodic whistle at chow time. 

Maureen (Reenie)

---

Back-Off Burt
Dad died in January, and I remember Marty making phone calls to let friends and relatives know of his passing. When he called Leonard Burt (an old family friend...and my godfather), Burt told Marty that his own wife had just passed away. Leonard Burt lived in Texas. In June of that year, he flew to California, and came to visit Mom. They went out to dinner at a lovely restaurant in La Jolla. As Mom told the story, … they were driving back to our home in La Mesa, when Burt popped the question, asking Mom to marry him! They had taken her car, and she said she almost got into a car accident! He admitted that the timing was not great; and though he had planned to ask her at dinner, he had just been too nervous!

Mom told him that although they had known each other for years, this was unexpected, she still had Dan and me at home to raise, and that it was too soon for her to even think about re-marrying.

He returned to Texas, and called Mom one morning, and said, “you didn’t say yes, and you didn’t say no… so have you had time to think about it?” I clearly remember hearing Mom say: “Burt, just back off!” That became a family tag-line! Burt remarried a woman in Texas and called Mom when he did.

“A Heady Sensation”
Mom said that Burt was lonely, and she was happy for him. But Mom was re-discovering her own identity. Mom once referred to this time of her life “as a heady sensation”. In that first year, she had to establish her own credit (she was only known as Mrs. J. J. Murphy). She went back to Jr. College, but gave that up, because she didn’t like doing the homework (LOL). Then she went to worked in the housewares dept. at the Broadway in Fashion Valley. We moved to the house on Marathon Drive for a while, and then landed at Pacific Beach, where she was soooo happy!

Is it time to fill the bathtub yet?
We moved to Pacific Beach in the summer of 1974. Dan was now in college at University of Santa Clara, but home for the summer. Marty and Dan were involved in renovating/remodeling the house. Mom and I were also doing what we could… and we were replacing the wallpaper in the back bedroom. After scraping off the old wallpaper, we had to “prep the wall” before putting up the new wallpaper. The new wallpaper was already cut into strips that would be dipped in the bathtub to get it wet. We had already placed painter’s cloths on the floor, all ready for the “drippy run” back and forth from the bathroom to the bedroom. I was getting bored and restless with the prep work, and kept asking Mom “is it time to fill the bathtub yet?” She was getting very annoyed with me… and that became a family joke…for the rest of time… whenever I pestered Mom about anything, she would say “Reenie… it is not time to fill the bathtub yet!”

Nancy Kindgren 5:44 (231)

---

    I have such fond memories of our visits to your house in La Mesa. Looking back, now as an adult, I certainly can empathize with Marie when the Bryants would invade the Murphy household and stay for a week (maybe longer) every summer!  Poor Marie!

    To her credit, with all of the mass confusion, Marie ran a pretty tight "ship".  She was always so gracious and loving, however, none of us would ever dare argue with Marie.

     There was a time when Marie said that Reenie and I had to take a nap every afternoon
due to the threat of contracting polio. I thought that we were too old for naps and
remember complaining to my mom, which didn't get me too far. Thinking back, I'm sure that the main reason for "nap time" was to give Marie a little sanity in her day...and also to help guard against  polio! 

    How different it was to go down to Mission Beach with Reenie when I was in my 20's.  Marie was so much fun! We would spend the weekend at Marea's by the Sea. We would walk on the beach, go out to dinner, hang out at her bookstore, laugh and play card games.  I'm so grateful for that special time when I really got to know and enjoy
Marie.  She was a remarkable woman and a very special aunt!

Love,
Nanc

Brian Renden

---

I have countless memories, but what stands out the most to me is how much love she was filled with for everyone she came into contact with. I do remember going to see her with my parents when we visited her when I was young and she worked in the retail store inside the mall and her smile and huge hugs when she saw us. I remember being babysat and she had the patience of a saint, and always had something planned for my high energy levels, be it taking me or my brother to movies , Toys R Us to spoil us (secretly at times), or walks through lemon and orange groves. She always sent out birthday cards every year with the "I love you more" ending line. She loved "Everybody loves Raymond" and always had that on during evenings. I'll also always remember the chalk board she had by her front door, where anyone who visited her or missed her could communicate on that and she would always respond. I'll always miss celebrating her birthday in La Jolla every summer, and how much she just loved and enjoyed sitting and watching all of us as a family. There are too many memories to recall a favorite specific event, but how she was able to pass her unconditional love to all of us on a daily basis. 

Love you all !

Michelle Zive

---

My most profound memories of Granny is when she lived over in the 4996 Porter Hill Road house in La Mesa.  And since I’m a writer, and y’all are getting lots of memories, I will put my memories in bullet format.  Here goes, I remember:
• Playing  red light-green light and Simon Says with Reenie, Dan, Marcia, and Mark in the big backyard (or at least it seemed big when I was small);
• Granny making the best sourdough toast with real butter.  I can smell the bread toasting (perfectly) and taste the butter melting into the divets of the sourdough.  YUMMY!;
• Sleeping in one of the rooms down the hallway to the left in the twin bed, Marcia in the other one, with white Chenille bedspreads.  The bedspreads were so white, and the sheets were pristine.  So cozy and homey!;
• Granny treating my Plantar’s warts on my feet.  I don’t remember exactly how she treated them, but I do remember her being matter-of-fact about it, and gentle;
• Walking to the rec center behind Granny’s house, and jumping on the trampoline.

I love this photo.  Thank you to the photographer in our family, David Martin, for

capturing this moment.  I think it was the last Christmas she spent with us, when she lived next door to Mom and Dad.  It reminds me of when I went to the home right before she passed.  I sat on the edge of her bed, as she lay breathing deeply, eyes closed.  I leaned over, and said, “I’m here.” She opened her eyes and gave me a smile.

Thank you for the opportunity to remember and honor her.

Love,
M

---

wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait

Last but not least...

Ann Webb (Annie; legally Anne with an 'e' but when I was born, the nurse ... )

---

Hi Dan, I started the text and the minute I did my son called from Florida. They live in South Carolina but he drove down to Florida to pick up a new dog with his daughter, one of the twins, Marguerite. So I know I’m delayed in getting to this but I told him I’d call him back and I will do it right now sorry for that. [Ed: Annie, glad I'm not on your list anymore.]

As I recall, our trips to California were filled with fun and laughter, and long, long days in the car. After the trek from Des Moines, Iowa [Ed: Des what?], to Anaheim, California, we would first arrive at Aunt Joanne and Wayne’s home. We stayed with them about a week, and then we would pile in the car and head south toward the Murphy home in La Mesa.

Every time I think of all this I smile and thank God that we had parents who loved us so much to travel halfway across the country in order to have their siblings, who also loved us very much, open their homes and invite us in. But, in addition to Joan and Wayne, that is what Uncle Jim and Aunt Marie did!  And I think they commanded their children to do the same: Open the door and their hearts and welcome us in. Every summer would be a little different, but it was always an adventure. 

So back to my contribution [Ed: Waiting. Patiently.] It’s not so much a particular story as it is a feeling, and atmosphere that I felt every time we arrived at the Murphy home.[... Aww]

I thank Aunt Marie for all the wonderful memories, all the organization that was done behind the scenes, in order to pull off hosting her husband’s family of 4 or 5, for at least a week, and all that entails, with food for hungry kids day and night, and activities to keep them busy and out of the adults hair!

There were probably only four of us children, our “king”, and I mean that most lovingly, having not yet been born. So, for the most part when we would arrive at the Murphy’s in La Mesa on the golf course it was always an exciting adventure.

Soon what was once a quiet home became a very chaotic gym with so many kids. Michelle and Marty were older, so for the most part we did not see them as much as I wanted to hang out with them. But we had Chris, Imelda, Reenie, and Dan. The Bryant clan usually included mom of course, Lynne, Ann, Joan and Nancy. I don’t remember if Susan came with us, but I would imagine most time she did. So add one more to the mix.

What I recall the most is that we would gather in the family room and Reenie would be called on and she would play and sing with her brother Dan. They would entertain us for probably half an hour and at times we would join in singing all the while laughing until Aunt Marie told Reenie and Dan that that was enough!!!!! I got the feeling that Aunt Marie thought we were giving too much attention to Reenie and Dan. They were absolutely adorable.

So when it was dinner we all had chores and then we just hung out downstairs upstairs and all around the house literally. We all had chores and we had to do them and not complain and when it was time to go to bed lights were out and they’re simply was no nonsense going on.

The next morning it was breakfast and another day of fun and adventure with the Murphy clan.

But what I love the most about our whole experience was a sense of acceptance and love. Well Marie was very strict about what we had to do I knew then and how much She loved us. There was a sense of happiness with the kids and all the adults. And as I look back I believe it brought the best out in all of us. Of course, there was some bickering among the kids but not much, and I never wanted to leave. So, all in all, while we may have been a pain to some of you it was certainly an exciting and wonderful part of our summer.

I believe Marie set the tone for our “invasion “. It was one of welcoming and love. And you can’t fake that. Just think, Marie had six children of her own and she opened not only her home but her heart to her sister-in-law with four of her own children, and maybe five. That’s quite a lot to think about but Aunt Marie and our mom made it happen. And that’s what families do when they cherish each other and love one another; it was a gift I knew I wanted to pass on to my own children. And that’s what you can’t fake.

I’m not sure how much the Murphy clan liked us being there [Ed: Just more girls…and finally came Johnny.], but for my part, it was always a very important part of our trip to California. On life’s journey, our experience exemplified what is really important about life and families.

God bless you Aunt Marie and mom for being such wonderful examples of love and what it means to be family.

Love you all, Annie

---

Yes indeed. Thank you all for your memories and your love!! You-know-who gets the last word.