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| Outside Joan & Wayne's in Anaheim Link to photo: https://photos.app.goo.gl/4VExf7zFzbrA19i26 |
Murphy Stuff To Share (MSTS)
- Dan
Now that I'm retired, I can stop and smell the memories. Here's one from (Shenache) Reenie on Aunt Joan.
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Clairvoyant/ Magical: read palms, tea leaves
Themes: God, family, Irish, Alanon, faith, the sea, California, fiercely loyal
The greatest generation that ever lived: depression baby and the wars
Courage and faith in all life’s experiences: Alanon, cancer, heart attack,
Born on Veteran’s Day.
Our Aunt Joan was a shenache, which is a word for an Irish storyteller. Though she never got the chance to travel to Ireland and kiss the Blarney Stone, she was indeed given the gift of weaving wonderful stories.
For us, she was the keeper of the family tales. Her eyes would twinkle as she would tell us stories about our Murphy and Kelly ancestors… some of whom we never knew…but were in the old photographs…. like the 7 Kelly sisters, and Black Jack Kelly. She brought her grandparents alive for us in her stories… Grandma Kelly was a woman’s rights activist long before it was fashionable… as Joan would describe her… she was tall, erect, smart, industrious, daring, always dressed impeccably and modeled and thus expected good manners. She took Spanish lessons, flying lessons, and even owned some valuable property in downtown Los Angeles. Joan always seemed a little in awe of her… who wouldn’t be? Then she would tell us about Grandma Murphy. She seemed a little eccentric…Joan often described her as short and wearing a funny little black coat and hat. She told us that Grandma would invite her to the movies, and they would ride the streetcar to the theater, when Joanie was about 12. Joan was a little embarrassed to be seen with her… and she was sorry to say that she even ditched her once by sitting in a different spot. When they met up after the movie, Grandma never mentioned it or ratted her out. Another story about Grandma Murphy involved my Dad. Dad was about 16 and tried his hand at making beer. Dad excitedly offered her a glass, and apparently it was really awful, but Grandma never wanted to burst my Dad’s bubble, so she was a good sport and drank it, saying something like “now that wasn’t too bad Jimmy for your first try.” Joan always admired her for her loyalty.
Joan told us how Grandpa Jim worked at Hennessey’s in Butte Montana in the haberdashery dept., and how when Grandpa Jim came by to call on Aggie, and invite her to go ice-skating, her Dad declared that was the man she was going to marry.
Her tales about family members were often filled with romance, tragedy and sometimes un-requited love. Like Aunt Imelda …..
Joan was fiercely loyal in her devotion to family. Sometimes, her stories may have been colored with that bias, but that made it all the more endearing. She always reminded us how lucky we were to be in such a loving family.
Joan was born on Veteran’s Day. She told us that when she was a little girl, Grandma Aggie would take her out in Los Angeles for her birthday and tell her that the parades and flags were in her honor… she knew that she was special! When Nancy and I went to visit her on her birthday in the convalescent hospital this past Veteran’s Day, Susan had decorated the room with banners and flags, and we reminded her that all the flags were up everywhere for her special day. I know she heard us, and she was pleased.
Our Aunt Joan was magical. She was born with special gifts of intuition, clairvoyance, and that 6th sense. She could read tea leaves, and after dinner, we often would finish up with a cup of tea and perform the ritual of turning the cup over in the saucer, and rotating the cup just so, for the “proper reading”. At family parties, it would not be unusual for the cousins to sit around waiting for their turn at having their palm read. Sometimes Joan would tell us that she had just that day spoken with relatives that had passed away. It was never scary, but rather comforting that they were always there with us. Who can ever forget the stories of our stay in the Bryant’s house in Cedar Rapids? Joan had many “close encounters” in that place!
Joan was one of the most faith-filled women I will ever know. Her trust and faith in God was such an inspiration… deep, personal, and it sustained her throughout all her life. She would always tell us that we were in her prayers and I always knew that it was true… I felt it many times! She always “God-blessed us” with a cross on the forehead as we were saying goodbye at the end of each visit.
Joan loved Alanon where she was able to put her faith into service and action. She often spoke at meetings and was a sponsor for many women throughout Orange County. Her Alanon background gave her a wisdom and empathy for family members, but strangers as well. She applied the 12 steps and principles to not only alcoholism, but to her everyday life. Her faith enabled helped her to survive breast cancer and a heart attack. Joan will always be a role model and I am proud to have witnessed her speaking at Alanon meetings. She always had them in the “palm of her hand”.
Joan was a member of “the greatest generation that ever lived”, as Tom Brokaw termed that era. She was a depression baby, so she knew the value of hard work and selflessness. She saw Wayne through the War and then settled to live the American Dream in Anaheim California. When they got the backyard pool, we had many happy family times there. Joan loved having us all over to enjoy the pool, and that even continued into the next generation. Our children have fond memories of going to Joan and Wayne’s to swim. Joan would often quote Grandpa Jim, “I don’t know what I did to deserve to live in California”. She loved to go to the beach, and take long walks; she was always renewed by the scent of the fresh salt air and the sound of the waves. It seemed to renew her spirits.
Joan has always been a part of my life. We have pictures of Dan and me in our backyard in Anaheim holding our suitcases for an overnight stay at Joan and Wayne’s. Joan got Dan and I started in coin collecting, buying us our first collections books. When we moved to La Mesa, Joan and Wayne would often travel down for a weekend visit, holidays, birthdays, join us in San Clemente vacations, and of course, when the Bryants came, it was always family time.
When Nancy and I started teaching and lived on Balboa Island, Joan and Wayne would often have us over for a home-cooked meal, and Wayne would change the oil in our cars. They took such good care of us! We had fun having them over for the Christmas boat parades, and summer dinners at our apartment. They were always there for us… even meeting the boyfriends (future husbands). They continued their love and support with our own kids… they came to birthdays parties, baptisms, First Communions, Confirmations, Graduations… celebrating joyously all of life’s milestones with us.
